My doctors note “This does not need to disrupt your life. In fact, that is our goal – to get you back to ‘yourself’ with as little disruption as possible to your way of life.”
With all the emotional baggage it’s hard to imagine it being non-disruptive. But they are talking in relative terms. Knowing you have cancer is disruptive in itself – without considering the doctor’s appointments and treatments.
What they say is true. It does not have to stop the way you carry on your life. It will if you let it. You see, it’s all up to you.
Luckily, I’m determined or strong-willed. Aw, heck, let’s just say it – I’m downright stubborn. And this is a good thing. This is helping me stay the course – keeping my head out of the weeds where the doubts and fears live. I can’t – no I won’t – go there.
Doesn’t mean that this hasn’t interrupted sleep, given me a nervous stomach and realigned my outlook. It has. But staying on course actually helps with those things. Think about it. It goes back to that normalcy factor.
So for me, I’ve determined that this remain as it has been so far – reasonably non-disruptive to the normal course of my life. I’m maintaining my regular schedule of exercise, work, choir participation, cooking, and – yes – even some playing. This predicament is not an “excuse” to stop doing something or to “take a break” from something else. It isn’t a way to get out of a duty or ditch out on a responsibility. I can keep being me and I will keep being me.