wide-eyed at 4am

Chemo #1: Yay for the Port

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I’m so glad that I let the stubborn wall down and finally agreed that the port was a good idea.

BLOG_Chemo1What a saving grace. And after the chemo nurse explained how caustic the chemo drugs are – especially the first one – I understood why it is a no-brainer.

It also made it very easy to move around and work without worrying about my infusion site.

The process today went well. I didn’t have any immediate, negative responses to meds and just sort of sailed through it – working all the while.

I have had the perfect and most awesome companion through this. Dennis is amazing. I know that all of these appointments have been trying for him. Watching it all BLOG_ChemoCompanionbecome reality and then unfold before his eyes. it breaks my heart that he’s had to go through it and has much more of the journey to go. I’m very fortunate to have a driver, listener, adviser, errand boy, cook and lifetime love. Every appointment, procedure, session, whatever – he sits patiently and does what needs to be done. He’s the communication vehicle that alerts and informs our little network of peeps.  I don’t know what I’d do without him. Well, yes I do. I think I would probably be a wreck.

Well, almost working all the while. All the water I’ve been drinking plus all of the saline and intravenous meds made me make many trips (with IV in tow) to the restroom. I also was reading and trying to respond somehow to all of the wonderful supportive text messages that I received today. I was amazingly uplifting! I appreciate every message and love each of you for being part of my safety net/ support system.

As I noted, I had MANY supportive texts today. Our oldest daughter, Kirsten sent love and hugs today and her twin twelve year olds sent texts this afternoon – just to say they love me. What joy! I also received a special picture from our youngest daughter, Aerin, and her little Hannah who are such joys and so uplifting with their texted picture and kisses. I can’t say it enough. I’m truly blessed.


Needless to say, I’m not out of the woods with this yet. It really doesn’t mean anything that I feel OK now. After all, side effects usually don’t rear their ugly heads until about the 3rd day.  If I can still count the 3rd day after treatment would be Sunday. Maybe that will at least leave me feeling pretty good for the Jackrabbit summer party on Saturday!!! (I’m hoping!)

The nurses at LCI Pineville’s infusion area were compassionate, easy-going, efficient and very willing to answer questions and help us with whatever we needed. I really couldn’t ask for better care all the way around. I couldn’t have more confidence in the abilities of my doctors and nurses and their desire to make the best possible decisions for my situation and my future well-being. And that helps me to just concentrate on me. I’ve handed it to them (and ultimately to God) and I know that is the best thing that I can do.

A recent blow was learning that another of my Jackrabbit buddies was diagnosed with the aggressive invasive ductal version of breast cancer as opposed to my non-aggressive invasive lobular type. She’s at Levine so she’s in good hands. She’s on the aggressive track and I may actually see her in the infusion suite as she starts chemo soon. I’ll have a chemo buddy if that works out! She’s so in my prayers. I KNOW where she is and what her mind is doing. The thoughts and scenarios that it plays over and over again at 4 am. It’s torturous. But that why the messages, the nudges of support and love are so important. They are tidbits that you can cling to when you’ve just imagined the worst possible outcome for yourself.

BLOG_Chemo1GraphI’m totally ready for the next treatment. I wish I could fast-forward to the Sept 10th but for now I’ll have to settle for being 25% of the way through my first chemo phase or 12.5% of the way through the entire chemo process. Where’s my graphic? Ah – there it is. It isn’t that pretty – but it works.


Author: jillpurdy

A few months ago I wasn't but now I'm a statistic. That doesn't define me. I'm a daughter, a sister, a wife, a step mom, a grandmother, a friend and a Christian. I will continue to love exercise, music, cooking and food, and my family and friends. I'm stubborn, energetic, giving and too OCD for my own good sometimes. And I'm going to stay this way - despite cancer and the treatments that it takes to give it the royal beatdown.

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