wide-eyed at 4am

The “Why Me?” Question

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I’ve never gone down this “Why Me” road. It’s a question that is often the first one asked by folks when something tragic happens in their lives. It’s not that I avoided it. I just never wanted to ask it.

Maybe it’s faith that keeps me from needing an answer to this. Maybe it’s positive attitude. Maybe it’s just knowing that asking the question or even getting an answer changes nothing.  And I’m not at all in favor of anything that resembles wallowing in fear, self-pity or anger.


I’m not arrogant enough to think that my thoughts matter on this but I want to express them. It helps me.

Because of my faith and my relationship with God, I know that he doesn’t give us anything that he won’t supply the strength to handle.

This is no exception. And He has been good on that thus far.

I may not feel that the strength is mainlined from heaven – even though sometimes it is – it is often through friends and family. That’s what is so awesome about my support system. It’s really a conduit for God’s strength.

I think that going through this is going to produce something good.

It could be that I’m more patient. Maybe I will have more tolerance for some of my existing pet peeves. Maybe my relationships with those close to me or someone who isn’t close to me will improve. Maybe my experience will help people – or help just one person. Maybe I will find a new passion or place to focus volunteer hours. Maybe it’s one thing I’m destined to do or a complete change to my life.

I don’t know what it is. But I’m sure I will find out when the time is right. That isn’t up to me.

So whatever it is, I have something to look forward to.

Something that will make all of this worth it.

Something that is waiting for me on the other side.

Something that I will find and hold on to.

Author: jillpurdy

A few months ago I wasn't but now I'm a statistic. That doesn't define me. I'm a daughter, a sister, a wife, a step mom, a grandmother, a friend and a Christian. I will continue to love exercise, music, cooking and food, and my family and friends. I'm stubborn, energetic, giving and too OCD for my own good sometimes. And I'm going to stay this way - despite cancer and the treatments that it takes to give it the royal beatdown.

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