The past couple of weeks have been trying because of the start of a long barrage of chemo treatments. However, I’ve been determined to get some normalcy back. It’s important and will keep me sane.
Normalcy factor #1: We’re back in choir. First with the retreat and then with regular rehearsals starting back for the Fall. It’s still difficult to sing. The expander that is part of the reconstruction process just makes taking a deep breath awkward and uncomfortable. It’s not impossible and it’s not painful but the quickness and automatic process of it in singing doesn’t give you time to say “OK, take a good, deep breath, no matter how awkward it is.” You just naturally sort of recoil from doing it. When I CAN concentrate on it and force myself to do it. It’s fine. And that adds another characteristic: frustration. I get frustrated with myself that I can’t force myself to ignore the discomfort every time.
But being back in the groove is great. We’re going to be in the choir loft this morning and I’m looking forward to it. It’s normal for us.
Normalcy factor #2: We’re getting back into our workout routine. It will be slow. Last week we worked out on Monday and then with our trainer (the amazing Michael Beacham) on Wednesday. We were SOOOOO sore that we opted out of going into the club after my “pump me up” appointment on Friday. With the discomfort that process inspires, skipping the workout was probably best anyway. I’ve noticed that the pectoral muscle that the expander is placed under starts to contract when I engage my core.
Encouraging more contraction after additional saline is added in the expander would be interesting, to say the least.
We’ll be back in on Monday and see Beacham again on Wednesday before my check up and blood work with my oncologist on Wednesday.
It’s tough getting back into it. Things that were easy in June are not so easy now. But we will see progress soon. And exercise is helpful during chemo so that inspires me to do it even more. Anything to make that process easier to deal with.
I keep adding things to the normalcy list. Work schedule. Cooking and cleaning – you know – the typical house stuff. This hasn’t been neglected during the surgery-recovery period. Just not done quite as regularly and not always by me.
It makes me feel good to get back to doing the things that I’ve always done.
And what is it they say? “If it feels good, do it!”