wide-eyed at 4am

Still Taking It One at a Time

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#14. It’s huge. I can remember when I didn’t think the halfway milestone would ever pass!

But I can’t look to two weeks out just yet. There is still work to be done to make sure that I don’t get a delay in the final two weeks. I can’t let up and take my eyes off the prize so to speak. If I do and there is a hiccup, I won’t forgive myself.

I have to get back to healthy eating this week. Christmas week, I indulged in too much sugar. Cakes, cookies, candies…

But the one thing that is my downfall every year? My mom’s sweet and salty trail mix. And she doesn’t help by setting a huge clear glass jar of it on the kitchen counter. Since I spend a good amount of time in the kitchen helping to prepare everything else we’re eating, it is close by…within reach and calling out to me through the clear glass.

“What could be the harm?” My sweet tooth says. “Only a handful or two.”

But that handful or two turns into 3, 4, 5…. Back to proteins and veggies and exercise! Training with Beacham tomorrow will help kick that off.

My infusion went quickly today. I began working immediately – even though I had to wait for a bit so that the lab to process my blood work. By 1:05, I was underway and out of there by 3:15.


The infusion folks are awesome. My blood work has been so good and so stable lately that my saline and pre-chemo steroids/nausea/allergy/antacid meds were started as my blood work was testing. That put me ahead of where I would have been if they had waited for the results before beginning anything. They didn’t begin the actual chemo meds (or even mix them) until blood work is approved.

I worked through everything. I felt a little drowsy but drinking water and focus on something besides the drugs helps me to make it through without feeling the need to nod off.

After treatment and a couple of errands, I’ve made it home and eaten enough to beat the Benadryl down. I don’t feel like I’ll be staying up too late. Usually the treatment cycle wears me down enough to want an early bedtime. It’s probably best anyway since my oncologist requires that I rest….

The one-at-a-time attitude keeps me from being so definite about a finish date – which I learned earlier in the process can change in a heartbeat and be incredibly disappointing.

I want to celebrate. And I’ve begun to think about that. I just don’t know HOW I want to do it. Dining out? Gathering with friends? Weekend trip? Maybe all three??? I’ll have a month off from treatment of any kind so I  should have time!

I’m incredibly thankful for this experience which I know sounds weird.

I’ve learned sooooo much. I’ve met sooooo many amazing people some of which I think will be new friends.

I’ve experienced love, support and concern from some people that have surprised me and many who I knew would be there.

I’ve learned a lot about myself, my husband and my family. I’ve learned a lot about the medical resources in Charlotte and how doctors offices, labs, hospitals and insurance policies work.

As I posted months ago. I think that something  good is waiting on the other side. In fact, it may not even be on the other side. The good seems to even be revealing itself now.

So that’s why I’m thankful. The arduous treatment – ugh. But I have to do it. The risk is too great NOT to. But all of the other amazing stuff – well it’s just overwhelming in it’s awesomeness.

And that’s another reason to take the entire journey one day at a time. I get to take it all in and sit amazed by it.

I send the most sincere and heartfelt thank you to you all – for everything you’ve been a part of giving me.


Author: jillpurdy

A few months ago I wasn't but now I'm a statistic. That doesn't define me. I'm a daughter, a sister, a wife, a step mom, a grandmother, a friend and a Christian. I will continue to love exercise, music, cooking and food, and my family and friends. I'm stubborn, energetic, giving and too OCD for my own good sometimes. And I'm going to stay this way - despite cancer and the treatments that it takes to give it the royal beatdown.

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