wide-eyed at 4am


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A Calm Understanding

It’s new that stress is always on my mind. I know I was under stress prior to the cancer journey, but I never really thought about how I handled it or how it affected my physical well-being.

Now I do. Once you hear that stress can definitely be a factor in cancer’s occurrence, you think about it differently.

Some things have happened…job related….that I may have had a different reaction to prior to the cancer experience. I think they would have stressed me out MORE.

Basically, several folks moved on to other employment opportunities, we’ll say. These folks were the core positions of the team that I work on and some that made up a closely related team. Structure is changing over to match what customers need in a better way so it’s a good thing for the company. What is difficult is how departments change during times like this.

So the marketing team is now pretty much three contractors (me and a two graphic designers) and an interim manager.

And I’m OK with it. Even though my workload has greatly increased, it’s OK. A company that I’ve been with for almost 10 years needs for me to step up and be consistent and I will.

But I’m calm about it. It’s a funny inner peace.

After this journey – during which I worked full-time keeping up with everything for 4 clients – I’ve not been strikingly stressed over anything. Not even the surgeries and treatments.

Faith gives me the understanding that everything will work out. Support from loved ones gives me confidence that I won’t be alone during any of it.

So I learned that this concept doesn’t disappear as the most difficult parts of the cancer journey are behind me. It’s lifelong. It’s always with me and always has been.

My plastic surgeon’s nurses are amazing people. One in particular has been especially supportive. During a recent appointment, we were talking about the silver linings and gifts that do come from the cancer experience. For me, one of the most reassuring ones has been the discovery of this strength, assurance and calm that exists within us all – if we will just let ourselves find it.


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Cancelled! And #BunnyStrong was ready!

Thanks to Joaquin, no Race for the Cure. To say the least we’re disappointed. We had a great team assembled and awesome hot pink shirts. Ready to walk.

BunnyStrong2     BunnyStrong1

Komen_JDFor most walkers, it’s a show of support – publicly exhibiting support for organizations that do research and provide services for victims of cancer. For me, it was to be a walk for strength. I was ready to absorb the energy of the mass of pink that I would see before me and become part of as I make this journey. Knowing that all of that strength and support makes the constant progress that is made in treating and curing breast cancer – almost daily basis.

The funds donated on behalf of and by walkers are on their way – regardless of what happened with the walk today – but I was looking forward to being immersed in the pink of the morning!

BLOG_BkfastSandwich_10032015The only bright spot in this was that a surprise Saturday morning off gave me the chance to make my special cheese omelet breakfast sandwich. I must say that Dennis and I enjoyed relaxing with coffee and breakfast as the wind and rain came in the morning.